Pura Vida: A Friend's Birth Story

In Costa Rica, around 15 weeks pregnant, day after Christmas

During my retreat in Costa Rica in December, I had the pleasure of meeting another pregnant mama of 27 weeks, who also happened to be my yoga instructor for a class or two during my stay. I loved watching her teach yoga with her pregnant belly because she helped calm my nerves about performing stretches while pregnant, and I could tangibly see how I could modify my movements to accommodate the growing body. She helped me so much by demonstrating. After our first class, we connected and chatted animatedly and then I even got to hang out with her and her partner for a while.  We talked about Ina May’s work, and she let me know that it was actually very hard to find or order Ina May’s books in her town. So I promised to send her some literature when I got back. Back in Chicago, I sent her two of Ina May’s books, and in return, she sent me a wonderful pair of Guatemalan sandals. From there, we stayed in touch, and after she birthed her baby, she sent me through voice clips, her beautiful birth story, which she has agreed to let me transcribe and share with you below. Enjoy!:

I started having rushes, contractions, around 4 in the morning, here in our house. And we left to my parents’ house around midday, maybe a little after, now I don’t remember. Anyway, we spent the afternoon there with my mom, and it started getting more intense once they left. My parents left the house around 8 or 9 in the evening. By then I was already very sensitive to light, to sound, to people, to almost anything. So actually, when my parents had a second thought of staying with us, I asked them to please leave. Because I just wanted to be alone with Migo (her partner).

So, finally my parents left, and the midwife would not come until later cause my rushes were very irregular. So we turned off all the lights in the house. I couldn’t use my playlist cause I was so sensitive to sound that the rushes were taking me within myself so much. It was at some points, psychedelic.

I laid down in the bed and was just kinda like, reeling everything in. Miguel was kinda busy around, just preparing the space and all, and I had to ask him to stop and be with me. And he did. And he did the hypnobirth thing that I sent you (I included the translated script below). Immediately after that, it became a little more intense. It was painful mostly in the back. But I would say it is more intense than painful. It’s like when you get diarrhea, you don’t feel pain, right? It’s just like this uncomfortable feeling. I’d say it’s similar.

And after he did that hypnobirth thing, I remembered that in the book you gave me from Ina May, she spoke about visualizing opening and to focus more on the expansion rather than the contraction, so that really helped. And I started visualizing sink holes; we’ve been to Mexico, and we’ve been to this really big, round, crazy and scary and magical sink hole. So actually, that came to my mind. And then like galaxies that would spiral in the circular motion out, like expanding. And that apparently really helped. And the midwife suggested on the phone that I go into the shower. That kinda helped but not really cause I never managed to get the right temperature in the shower.

The hole experience actually reminded me a little of ayahuasca, cause after a while I was purging, and it was so intense. And at some point, I even felt the presence of my great-grandmother who used to live there; my dad had just inherited that property from his mom.

We were hugging, and I realized that I couldn’t do much of the smooching or kissing or anything like that. But if I would smell his neck, that was really helping. For some reason, if I would smell him, like his pheromones or just his scent would help me carry the waves so much smoother.

Something a little bit crazy happened: We realized that we forgot all of our prenatal cards that you really need in case something goes wrong in order to go to the hospital, and we forgot everything at home which is like 45 minutes away. And we’re like “F***.” So Miguel had to coordinate that so his brother would come here, pick things up, and then drive things down. And it worked. When his brother came down, he wanted to say “Hi,” but I’m like, “I don’t want to see anyone right now.”

As the rushes got more and more intense, we decided it was time to call the midwife. And she was very relaxed and said to time my rushes. And they were still very irregular but closer to one another. Another important tip: Maybe you know this, but don’t count the time yourself and don’t look at the time. I mean don’t time the contractions yourself. You don’t want to go into your rational mind. I didn’t, and it really helped me to stay away from fear.

Finally, we called the midwife a second time. And by then, my contractions were very irregular. They were either too close to each other, like they were two minutes, or farther or four minutes a part instead of being like steady. They want your contractions to be every 4 minutes. And I started to feel the need to push, unwillingly. And she was not there yet, so I got a little worried. So we called her, and as soon as Miguel told her I was ready to push, she was like, “Okay, I’ll be right there.”

So she got to my parents’ house, and they started filling up the pool with the water and all of that. Which actually I had kinda been longing for because there’s a point where your body is uncomfortable in almost any position. Like I tried everything ,and everything would feel too intense. I kinda wished I was floating so the contractions wouldn’t be as intense. But anyway, she said that she wanted to look at me and touch me to see how my dilation was, and by that moment, I was at 9cm.

She was actually very surprised, and so she didn’t say anything. She touched me again, and she’s like, “Yeah, you’re in 9cm.” And I’m like, “What!? Oh my god, this is happening.” So she started suggesting different positions to push and said we’d have to let go of the pool cause that’s like not happening. So, we tried a position with a ball. We tried me laying on one side. But I just kept tossing and turning until finally, she suggested that Miguel hold me. So he was sitting on the edge of the bed and we tried me squatting and him grabbing me by the armpits. And that was kinda like the last position I was trying. And I just felt like I was going to poop all over the place. And she’s like, “No, don’t worry. What you’re feeling is not poop; It’s actually the baby’s head.” And I’m like, “Oh my god, okay.” But I started having doubt, not fear. I actually touched the baby’s head inside of me and it felt like I was so…closed. Like you know, the baby’s head is fairly big. Anyway, so I started having doubt, and I’m like, “What do I do with my doubt? I don’t know what to do with my doubt.”

And they all went silent.

That’s when Migo stepped in. He’s like, “You’re strong. You can do this.” And he started encouraging me. I gave like two more pushes after that, and Ari was born! And yeah,  I actually could not believe it was happening and that it was actually over. There was this immense joy and relief and surprise at the same time. It’s really hard to explain. All these emotions at the same time.

He had his little hand against his head almost like in a Superman position. That tore me a little bit. It wasn’t terrible. I had three stitches. She stitched me. Then Migo caught the umbilical cord and made a wish for the baby. We have the placenta in the fridge, and I know this is weird, but we’re just waiting for rainy season to plant a tree near the river with the placenta.

Her Afterthoughts to Me: 

That was my birthing story. I hope you have a great birthing story that you will be willing to share with me. I have been thinking so much about you these days, and it’s so beautiful to have Ari in my arms. You’ll melt once you get Rose in your arms. It’s just amazing. I hope all the transition, like being at your parents, and being in your last trimester, and being heavy and slow and all that is not getting to your nerves or making you feel uncomfortable at all. Just feel like the 3^rd trimester is like, Zen. And the only thing I’d recommend is get prepared for breastfeeding. I had not prepared. And I wish I had with like techniques and videos. I spend so much time breastfeeding. Like right now, Ari is like breastfeeding almost every hour. He wakes up every 2 or 3 hours at night. My nipples are sore. And I think I would have done better had I prepared a little bit better.

Enjoy these last weeks. I loved being pregnant, and I loved the sensation, and I almost miss it. So enjoy those last weeks cause what’s coming up next is as awesome; it’s actually more awesome. But it’s different.

I hope you the best. You’ll have an amazing birth story. Of course it’ll be super different. But it’ll be super special. Everyone is already sending so much love to Baby Rose. 

Namaste,

Katie

36 weeks, with Daisy, at an all Corgi Pawty